Daddy’s Girl

Happy Birthday daddy! Man I sure miss you. Some years are tougher than others and this is one of those years for me. I have had an amazing year. My life has finally become everything I could ever dream of. Oh, how I wish you were here to live this with me. I have made such huge changes in my life and knowing you like I do, I know you are somewhere watching over me and beaming. Have you seen her? Don’t you just love her? Don’t you think she is just right for me? Sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t you who sent her my 😉 Check out those kids too…Baby girl has your heart, two-fold and my little man, well..dude thanks for that sarcastic sense of humor :-/ Hang with us when you can, trust me, I’ll know you’re there.

Happy Birthday Daddy 🙂 Love you now and always…

(I won’t be cliche and talk about making the most of your time with your loved ones. I’m just simply writing this because I believe that somewhere, daddy is reading. So this is my personal letter to him.)

My Kind of Day

**An experiment in the art of description**

Much to do today! Work that requires little physical activity but a great deal of exercise, of the mind. A quiet coffee house, a cozy table. Rain drops on the window remind me, there is a world carrying on outside this sanctuary. Hot cup of tea is my comforting companion. My laptop is my partner in crime. Together we take the day to the depths of purpose and productivity. My industriousness has a soundtrack that keeps the beat of the pace at which I accomplish total concentration; Of Mice and Men, Gotye. Hard not to find your groove in that. And so I work. Work until I am reminded of time. Ah!..the world outside the rain washed window beckons once again. My eyes blink in a flutter as they adjust to the reality of the bustle going on around me. And so I pack up and go. Till next time-

Up In Smoke!

I have to ask, what is the damn allure of this effin’ WEED?! I know intelligent, capable, grown ass individuals still messing with that shit like they’re still that awkward kid in high school trying to just get by another day in social hell. What is the deal? I have seen careers lost over this crap! Otherwise healthy people slowly become more and more chemical while becoming less and less a healthy human from putting this shit into their bodies. So, explain if you will because I do not understand. What is the big draw? What need are you all filling with this shit? Why can’t you get what you need out of living life to the fullest?! Why must you experience all things good through the foggy prism of a weed smokin’ stupor?

I hear the arguments about legalization, about it being a natural substance, yada yada. First of all, legal or not, do you really think its ok to put shit into your system that clearly was not natural enough to be a part of you already? Second of all, yeah, it’s natural, but so is shit and you don’t see anyone taking a hit of that here and there or calling for the legalization of IT’S consumption. Get a grip! The arguments I’ve heard so far are stupid and the reason why people do it, just plain sad.  Is there anyone who could offer just ONE, ONE simple valid m’effin reason why this is supposed to be so damn good you can’t put it down. One reason why you can’t have yourself a good time without lighting up. ONE! Other than “It makes you feel good or just makes you feel chill” for a little while.  C’mon folks, use whatever intelligence you have yet smoked out of that blunt and give me a viable, valid reason for why so many of you bow down to the lords and gods that peddle you this shit. Why are you making others rich at the expense of your own diminishing intelligence? What is your well being worth to you really? Rather the real question is, IS your intelligence and well being worth anything to you at all? Cause where I stand, maybe not so much :-/

It makes me sad when most of the smokers I talk to claim they are at their best when they are high. “I paint better than ever when I’m high.” “I can sing up a storm when I’m high.” Please, make no mistake; when you attribute your talents to a foreign substance, something outside of yourself, what you are saying is that in all actuality you have no real talent at all. Your talent is more like smoky courage that puffs into your otherwise talentless state of existence. Want to prove otherwise, do your thing in all your sobriety. Show what you got when clear headed and 100% naturally YOU!

One thing is to be sad for you but it’s another thing all together to be pissed off AT you. Why pissed off? Because, you egotistical tar for brains, the rest of us don’t want to smell your shit! I too would like to enjoy the occasional concert out in a public venue without you imposing your pitiful personal problem on me! Got a habit, handle your business where I don’t have to participate against my will.

Essentially, the point is that I have yet to encounter the individual who can intellectually articulate the merits of this drug and how it’s constant and prolonged use, however “recreational” can possibly enhance anyone’s existence. So I challenge you, worshippers of the weed. What say you?

Challenge Accepted.

My Dear Friend Edurne,

Your vast vocabulary, intimidating level of intellect, and incredible ability to write so flawlessly has inspired me to write in this blog more often. I hope to be just like you when I grow up 😉

Still…

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I still labour to catch my breath as I feel you enter the room.
And I still,
Still get butterflies every time you reach for my hand
And even still,
Does my heart skip a beat when you draw me into your arms.
And so still,
Still I recognize how lucky I am to have found you when I did.
And ever still,
Still will I love you as you were meant to be loved…
unconditionally still.

Not Far Enough

I’m currently taking a multi-cultural class in my master’s program and a classmate made a recent comment that made me pause and reflect. The topic: White Privilege. The comment: among many other great points, a seemingly innocuous enough statement, “Great strides have been made in terms of racism…” (loosely quoted).  Funny thing is, that moment of pause for reflective thinking lasted a cool few seconds before my feelings on the subject just poured out. “I hate to be the nay sayer…” I replied, but I don’t believe it has. Women still clutch their purse when a black man walks too close and people are still surprised when a black woman is well-spoken. No, we haven’t gotten very far in this world when it comes to racism but the fact that some can say that we have is a greater cause for concern. As people, we are so vastly different. Different enough to be marveled by each other’s  own unique individuality, and yet. We choose to use those differences to alienate ourselves from others who differ from us. Others who perhaps strike fear or jealousy in our hearts because we don’t understand those differences and don’t care to make an attempt to change that.

This issue is not exclusive to our racial differences. Multi-culturalism is so much more than skin color or place of origin. To me it seems that with each stride that is made in one area of prejudice another issue of cultural difference takes its place. Homosexuality is one such replacement. Gone are the days of publicly designated segregation with signs telling us where we can enter and where we can sit based on where we fall in the melanin spectrum. Replaced are they now by the government sanctioned stipulations that dictate who someone can choose to commit themselves to for the rest of their lives depending on what the all knowing majority deems is appropriate. Homosexuality remains today as the ONE issue for which religion is used to justify its social injustice. As a Christian AND a lesbian woman, that is not ok! I have been in a committed relationship for what will be three years next month. My partner is to me what any woman would be for any man she is committed to. She is my love, my best friend, my one main source of emotional support and mother to my children. We work, we go to PTA meetings, we go on vacations both alone and as a family. How is that any different than a heterosexual relationship? How does our commitment to one another take away from our society in any way?

No, we have not come very far at all in this world of prejudice. Not far at all. I hear through the grape vine that a proposal of marriage is in my very near future and as elated as I am about the opportunity to get to look her in her eyes and accept this ultimate sign commitment, I feel resentful. Resentful that our decision to commit to one another will require some creativity if it is to come true for us. Our home state does not recognize our right to marry and as such, we will have to find a place that is humane enough to realize that we are human beings just like the next heterosexual couple and are therefore entitled to same right to love and marry. Be that as it may, if and when she asks, the answer will be a resounding yes and we when the day comes, we will find the right place to celebrate our commitment to one another.

This world has a long way to go before we as a human race can truly say that prejudice has come a long way. I for one will settle for nothing less than a world where we appreciate and respect each others differences unconditionally. When that happens, then and only then not only will I say that prejudice has come a long way but that we as a human race have finally evolved into what we were meant to be, what we were created for.  To Love One Another.

“… ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31