She

She is the source of the air I breathe, the sun that lights my days.
She is the moonlight that lulls me to sleep each night.
She is my life.

The trees that adorn this earth are truly green only because she exists.                            The sky is blue because her spirit gives it its perfect hue.                                                 She is my world.

She is the reason that each star shines through infinite darkness.
She is the energy that moves it all in perfect unison.
She is my universe.

She is my love eternal-

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I Do!

We planned everything just right. We both agreed that this was a commitment between the two of us and this most important ceremony would be about our promise to one another and not about being a spectacle for others to bear witness to. The plan was simple; travel to the nearest legal state, book a nice hotel (since it would also serve as the official honeymoon spot), find a private and cozy space, dress up for each other (and no one else), recite our vows, and be officially wed. I found the perfect dress and she found just the right suit. We wouldn’t allow each other to see until the moment we revealed ourselves to one another on that very important day. The hotel was booked soon after and we conspired with a friend to serve as our officiant. Everything seemed to be in place and ready to go. We prepared for the road trip of our lives.

Road tips have always been a fun experience for me. Road trips with her are my favorite! This one would be nothing short of amazing, I just knew. We packed up the car and made our way. As we made the long trek across four state lines we talked, we planned our future, we laughed, we watched movies, we played games. This is why I am marrying her. Life with her is a life truly lived to the fullest. I enjoy the simplest moments to the very core. We finally arrived at our destination. We pulled into the fancy breezeway and our car doors were opened by gallantly dressed gentlemen helping us out of the car. The fairly tale had already begun. By the time we reached our room our bags had already been delivered. My dress shielded inside the pillowy white garment bag hanging prominently on the closet door and her suit safely tucked in its own zippered vault hanging right next to it. As the door closed behind us we both seemed to simultaneously process the magnitude of what we were about to do. We held each other in a silent moment and gently kissed. Not saying a word, we took in the moment. A few moments later we embarked out the door in search of the perfect spot. The accommodations we chose were so centrally located in such a beautiful area that it took just a quick stroll around the corner and we had found our perfect place. Now, since that was taken care of, we had the rest of the day to enjoy our last hours are single individuals. We had a wonderful romantic dinner and strolled around the area before we headed off to bed. With our special moment just hours away, we had to get plenty of rest.

We woke up to the sun just barely peeking over billowy clouds. My heart was so full of love and anticipation I thought it would burst before the hour arrived. She got ready before I did and headed down to the Café to wait for me. My aunt arrived and so did the photographer and our officiant. After make up and hair, they all worked in concert to get me into the straps and laces of my coquette and flowy dress. I made my way down the elevator and waited for the officiant to motion for me to approach. My aunt walked just ahead of me. As I walked out and around the corner, people stopped to comment; “congratulations!” I knew they were there and on autopilot I would thank them for their comments, but in reality, I was somewhere else. All I could think of was that just around the corner, there she stood waiting for me. As I got closer to where she was my legs began to betray me. I couldn’t feel the steps I was taking and as I caught a glimpse of her, I nearly forgot how to walk all together. I heard our wedding song softly playing and stopped, composed myself for just a second and found my balance once again. I slowly lifted my gaze and allowed my eyes to lock with hers. I was calm then. She always brings me such calm. As I approached her she smiled brighter. Her eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight as if she was its energy source. As we began to exchange our vows, although we carefully picked the words ahead of time, I couldn’t tell you what I said or what she said to me. It was so surreal. All I remember was taking in just how beautiful she was. All I experienced was being in awe of how the sunlight bounced off the strands of her hair in a way that seemed to just light up the whole world. All I could focus on was how lucky I felt that she would consent to walking by my side for the rest of her days. “I now pronounce you partners for life” I heard the officiant say. And with that, we gently kissed and the world around us faded into a blurry backdrop.

We spent the next hours with our photographer posing around town. It was a lot of fun. Folks would walk by clapping, congratulating. Some approached us for hugs and even words of wisdom. All the while, in the back of my mind, between serious and some not so serious poses, there was a tiny whisper reminding me; “she is now your wife!” The day could not have been more perfect. Soon after, we ventured out into the city to take in the sites as new wives.

Our day was absolutely special but what made it much more so was the fact that we both entered into this commitment with eyes wide-open full of realistic expectations. We have done the work and vowed to continue to put in the work that any healthy relationship truly requires. This wasn’t a romanticized notion that came to us on a whim. It was a well thought out commitment made to one another. With enough love to fill up this universe and respect to match, we embark on our lives together. Happily ever after!

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My First Article for Curve Magazine

Latina girls are trained up not raised. From the moment we can stand on a step stool we are taught to cook and clean. By the time we reach adolescence we have become like a second mother to our younger siblings and once we reach young adulthood, we can run an entire household with one arm tied behind our back to the rhythm of any good salsa beat. Our Hispanic culture has deep traditional roots. Even the most contemporary families still cling on to those core values. One of those most deeply held is the idea of what a ‘woman’s’ job is versus that of their male counterparts. And so, from a young age girls are taught all there is to know about the art of being “a woman.” We are “trained” to do and be the best at every one of those so described ‘female’ jobs.

 

In our culture family is very important. It is quite common to see three, four, and sometimes even five generations of women working together in the same kitchen. When you have so many staunch examples of years of traditions, one is presented with few opportunities to consider that there may be other options to what we have been taught. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t those who manage to challenge the system and vacillate with ideas of those other possibilities. Plenty of us have daydreamed and talked about the things we would accomplish in our future that didn’t necessarily include fulfilling the roles we were taught to conform to. But in the end, there is great comfort in what you know and so for the most part, things just kind of remain status quo for a great many of us. We go on auto pilot blending in to the family roles and expectations without so much as skipping a beat.

As a Hispanic lesbian who came out much later in life, I struggled with understanding why it took me so long to figure myself out. I couldn’t grasp how I could have gone through so much of my life without really knowing who I really was. Eventually I came to realize that I was so caught up in perfecting my role as it was defined for me by generations of tradition that it simply didn’t dawn on me that I could be anything different. I simply took on the static definition I was given from the moment the doctor announced, “It’s a girl!”

 

Today, my traditional Hispanic values continue to run just as deep. I can still cook a mean pot of carne asada while leaving the kitchen looking like it had never been used. Like many of my Latina sisters, I do find some comfort in the traditions and in the role that I was taught to fulfill. The difference however, is that today it is not about female versus male roles but about taking care of my family as I was taught to do. Discovering your own identity in the midst of deeply held cultural traditions can be quite a challenge, but finding the right spot between the two is bliss.

The Desperately InLove Housewife

She kisses my still sleeping face good bye as she leaves to take on the day.

She’s off to bring home the bread, I guess I should rise and make it.

Laundry needs to be done, the pile waits for me with a look of neglect.

I grab the things she left at the foot of our bed.

Her sweet scent lingers in the clothes she wore the previous day.

A warm emotion flows through me, I believe in the power of pheromones

And her’s are more powerful than any.

I put on her shirt to feel her near me as I work.

The time for her to get home seems to come too slow now.

 

Busy is the name of the game. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping.

I know that the word used to describe those of us tasked with these chores is “desperate” but me, I’m just “desperately in love” and I love doing these things for my family, for my love.

With pride I buzz around the house taking care of things I know will make things cozy for them all.

 

Time to make dinner, she’ll be home soon.

There’s just enough time, I run to the market, grab fresh ingredients and a beautiful bouquet just for her.

The kids won’t be home tonight, romantic candle light kind of night.

 

I greet her as she walks in the door after a long day at work. Flowers gallantly displayed as the centerpiece to her candle light surprise. She takes me into her arms and with a passionate kiss I know she knows I’ve been thinking of her with love. In all that I do and everything that I am, desperately in love with her, I give. With happiness in my heart and fulfillment in my soul, I take on the role of wife. With pride I pamper her and make her feel every aspect of who she is to me…

My Wife, My Queen-

Going Places!

I just published my first article EVER! I am so excited to see that slowly but surely my life is shaping up to be exactly what I dreamed for myself. I hope that others find that they relate to my stories or at least enjoy reading what I have to say.

Follow the link to read my article on being Latina and Lesbian. Curve Magazine Online Edition on Culture: Skin Deep March Issue.

http://www.curvemag.com/Curve-Magazine/Web-Articles-2014/Latina-and-Lesbian-Living-tradition-in-new/

And this is how you make it work…

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It’s the middle of the day on a chili Saturday in Atlanta. Slightly overcast and all feels calm. I’m in the center of the city where it is usually hussling and bussling. Not today. Today it is a peaceful scene. I’m sitting in my favorite restaurant. A cozy café in the heart of the city. Walking through the door means walking back in time. Ella playing on the speakers, soft and gentle, not overbearing. A quiet table in the corner is to be my preferred spot for this most needed date with myself. A tiny vase sits in the center of the table holding a single stem of the sweetest looking flower. This is my perfection. A good book, a great cup of coffee, a little Ella in the background and a great momentary escape.

Life is full of distractions that can quickly kill the romance. This is why many couples either don’t last or just lose their luster. They go for years simply co-existing.  That’s not for me and it will never be us! I am so in love with her and love how it feels to love her so much that I (we) work to protect its constancy and permanent existence. So I sit in this coffee house by myself: regrouping, re-energizing, re-viving myself. And where is she?…respecting my space.

Our days are filled with work responsibilities, school deadlines, PTA functions, kids concerts, parent/teacher conferences, bill paying, family drama, deaths, births, and the list goes on. In the midst of it all, we make it a point not to forget the why and how we came together. So we work on it. We spend quality time together (regular date nights help) and make it a point to allow ourselves some time apart. For as much as we have in common, we have just as much that sets us apart. After all, we are two different people. I enjoy getting my hair done, she likes playing sports or hanging out at the park. I like coffee, she drinks tea. I enjoy reading books, she likes to listen to music. Her guilty pleasures are not mine. So we allow ourselves those differences and give each other space to enjoy them. Just as important however, is appreciating those things together once in a while. We compromise often and it serves us well. Every so often she goes antiquing with me and other times, I brave it out and climb a rock wall or two with her. I love how we challenge each other that way. Focusing on the good things that our differences bring rather than trying to force one to be more like the other. She takes the time to learn my culture and I take the time to learn her’s. She can make a mean pot of “Arroz con habichuelas” and I actually make a decent pot of “greens.” I love the blend that has become “Us.” Today is about the individuality in each. She spends time with her “Ace” and I sit in this coffee house with myself. Later tonight we’ll meet for a date.

Relationships really are not as difficult as most people make them out to be. You just have to step outside of yourself long enough to notice, there is someone else in this relationship with you. Love each other for who you are together but more importantly, who you are apart from each other. Foster those differences; you were attracted to each other for a reason and that includes the things that make you different from each other. Embrace that. Life is full of enough stressors to then add your own fabricated list of must have’s or should be’s. Allow yourself time to miss each other. This will keep you on your toes. Surprise each other. Impromptu lunch dates in the middle of a workday go further than you think. Do something that the other person usually takes care of before they get a chance to tackle it (do the laundry before she gets to it, make dinner if you get home before her).

My sweetheart wrote the book on this and in my world, it is a number one seller! It’s the simple details…she buys me fresh flowers regularly, I leave her love notes in her lunch bag. She surprises me with soft gentle kisses as I cook, I greet her every day with the warmest embrace and kisses on her face.

We only live once folks, make it count! Consider one another and enjoy life as God meant for us to!  With love-