The Desperately InLove Housewife

She kisses my still sleeping face good bye as she leaves to take on the day.

She’s off to bring home the bread, I guess I should rise and make it.

Laundry needs to be done, the pile waits for me with a look of neglect.

I grab the things she left at the foot of our bed.

Her sweet scent lingers in the clothes she wore the previous day.

A warm emotion flows through me, I believe in the power of pheromones

And her’s are more powerful than any.

I put on her shirt to feel her near me as I work.

The time for her to get home seems to come too slow now.

 

Busy is the name of the game. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping.

I know that the word used to describe those of us tasked with these chores is “desperate” but me, I’m just “desperately in love” and I love doing these things for my family, for my love.

With pride I buzz around the house taking care of things I know will make things cozy for them all.

 

Time to make dinner, she’ll be home soon.

There’s just enough time, I run to the market, grab fresh ingredients and a beautiful bouquet just for her.

The kids won’t be home tonight, romantic candle light kind of night.

 

I greet her as she walks in the door after a long day at work. Flowers gallantly displayed as the centerpiece to her candle light surprise. She takes me into her arms and with a passionate kiss I know she knows I’ve been thinking of her with love. In all that I do and everything that I am, desperately in love with her, I give. With happiness in my heart and fulfillment in my soul, I take on the role of wife. With pride I pamper her and make her feel every aspect of who she is to me…

My Wife, My Queen-

And this is how you make it work…

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It’s the middle of the day on a chili Saturday in Atlanta. Slightly overcast and all feels calm. I’m in the center of the city where it is usually hussling and bussling. Not today. Today it is a peaceful scene. I’m sitting in my favorite restaurant. A cozy café in the heart of the city. Walking through the door means walking back in time. Ella playing on the speakers, soft and gentle, not overbearing. A quiet table in the corner is to be my preferred spot for this most needed date with myself. A tiny vase sits in the center of the table holding a single stem of the sweetest looking flower. This is my perfection. A good book, a great cup of coffee, a little Ella in the background and a great momentary escape.

Life is full of distractions that can quickly kill the romance. This is why many couples either don’t last or just lose their luster. They go for years simply co-existing.  That’s not for me and it will never be us! I am so in love with her and love how it feels to love her so much that I (we) work to protect its constancy and permanent existence. So I sit in this coffee house by myself: regrouping, re-energizing, re-viving myself. And where is she?…respecting my space.

Our days are filled with work responsibilities, school deadlines, PTA functions, kids concerts, parent/teacher conferences, bill paying, family drama, deaths, births, and the list goes on. In the midst of it all, we make it a point not to forget the why and how we came together. So we work on it. We spend quality time together (regular date nights help) and make it a point to allow ourselves some time apart. For as much as we have in common, we have just as much that sets us apart. After all, we are two different people. I enjoy getting my hair done, she likes playing sports or hanging out at the park. I like coffee, she drinks tea. I enjoy reading books, she likes to listen to music. Her guilty pleasures are not mine. So we allow ourselves those differences and give each other space to enjoy them. Just as important however, is appreciating those things together once in a while. We compromise often and it serves us well. Every so often she goes antiquing with me and other times, I brave it out and climb a rock wall or two with her. I love how we challenge each other that way. Focusing on the good things that our differences bring rather than trying to force one to be more like the other. She takes the time to learn my culture and I take the time to learn her’s. She can make a mean pot of “Arroz con habichuelas” and I actually make a decent pot of “greens.” I love the blend that has become “Us.” Today is about the individuality in each. She spends time with her “Ace” and I sit in this coffee house with myself. Later tonight we’ll meet for a date.

Relationships really are not as difficult as most people make them out to be. You just have to step outside of yourself long enough to notice, there is someone else in this relationship with you. Love each other for who you are together but more importantly, who you are apart from each other. Foster those differences; you were attracted to each other for a reason and that includes the things that make you different from each other. Embrace that. Life is full of enough stressors to then add your own fabricated list of must have’s or should be’s. Allow yourself time to miss each other. This will keep you on your toes. Surprise each other. Impromptu lunch dates in the middle of a workday go further than you think. Do something that the other person usually takes care of before they get a chance to tackle it (do the laundry before she gets to it, make dinner if you get home before her).

My sweetheart wrote the book on this and in my world, it is a number one seller! It’s the simple details…she buys me fresh flowers regularly, I leave her love notes in her lunch bag. She surprises me with soft gentle kisses as I cook, I greet her every day with the warmest embrace and kisses on her face.

We only live once folks, make it count! Consider one another and enjoy life as God meant for us to!  With love-

A Cultural Experience

There is so much that I admire about the African American culture. It is an indisputable fact that this is a culture of copious strength and virtue. I have come to know this through my interactions with friends and their families in the past but recently I have had the pleasure of living it for myself. My partner is an African American woman from a deeply rooted family. As our relationship grew so did our connection to each other’s family. Her parents treat me like another daughter and her siblings routinely call me “sis”. It is not lost on me that I am privileged to be welcomed into this tightly knit fold that is The Family.

The African American culture as it is known today has evolved through the years yet much has remained the same for centuries. Family has always been a paramount aspect of who they are and reverence of elders is a very essential part of that. Family reunions are a regular occurrence and big Sunday dinners are quite the routine. Recently I had the honor of taking part in a family reunion. I have to say that it was an unforgettable experience for me. Fish fry on Friday, picnic on Saturday were just some of the things that I had always heard of and just now got to experience. Sounds silly to some perhaps but it was meaningful for me. There were folks who had not seen each other in years and others who had actually never met. The tie that bound them all was family and that was a palpably strong tie felt throughout the entire weekend. The most memorable thing for me, as the outsider welcomed in, was just that; the welcoming. As soon as I was introduced and it was known what my connection was to the family, enough said. To be part of so much love and affection among people who rarely saw one another was humbling.

As I mentioned earlier, the elders are revered in this culture and that was certainly the case in this experience. There was always a place of veneration for them whether it was the head table at the main functions or the comfy couches prominently placed near the activities. Whatever the location, the sovereignty was there. Recognizing this makes me all the more humbled by the connection that I have come to build with my partner’s Family, especially her grandmother. I met her years ago when my partner took me back to her hometown. I remember feeling nervous about meeting her family for the first time. During that trip, I sat and listened to her grandmother talk about days gone by and tell stories about the family. I loved listening to her. I loved watching how her grown children still behaved as that, her children. This is something that I have found to be quite characteristic of the African American culture. A continued respect regardless of the age or status in life. That experience allowed me to see first hand how deeply held are the values of African American families. And now here we were, family reunion time and having vicariously developed the same values, I eagerly looked forward to seeing grandma again. The best part of it is, it seems she was just as excited to see me. As my partner walked up to her grandmother and gently kissed her cheek ‘hello’ grandma’s first words were, “where’s Liz?” My heart was full I saw her face light as up as she saw me come to her. Now I understood what it felt like to have the most respected family member acknowledge you. Just another dimension of the family values of African American families.

I have come to experience the closeness that African American families are known for. I have come to learn first hand what makes a family strong and deeply connected. I am very aware that my own lineage is not what allows me the privilege of this knowledge but the warm and open-heartedness of a people who haven’t always experienced the same unconditional regard from others. Despite the painful history, African Americans have continued to be strong, loving, tight knit, family oriented folks unwavering in their ways.  I am blessed to now consider myself a part of that.

Sincerely,

The honorary Inductee J

Daddy’s Girl

Happy Birthday daddy! Man I sure miss you. Some years are tougher than others and this is one of those years for me. I have had an amazing year. My life has finally become everything I could ever dream of. Oh, how I wish you were here to live this with me. I have made such huge changes in my life and knowing you like I do, I know you are somewhere watching over me and beaming. Have you seen her? Don’t you just love her? Don’t you think she is just right for me? Sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t you who sent her my 😉 Check out those kids too…Baby girl has your heart, two-fold and my little man, well..dude thanks for that sarcastic sense of humor :-/ Hang with us when you can, trust me, I’ll know you’re there.

Happy Birthday Daddy 🙂 Love you now and always…

(I won’t be cliche and talk about making the most of your time with your loved ones. I’m just simply writing this because I believe that somewhere, daddy is reading. So this is my personal letter to him.)

Challenge Accepted.

My Dear Friend Edurne,

Your vast vocabulary, intimidating level of intellect, and incredible ability to write so flawlessly has inspired me to write in this blog more often. I hope to be just like you when I grow up 😉

Not My Queen

Your birthday came and went. I remembered and yet, I didn’t. What use to be a day of anticipation preceded by weeks of planning has become a fleeting thought fluctuating between the relevance of day-to-day life.  You were once my everything, I never thought I’d see this day. I feel liberated. Chains are off and its for good. Life is full, love is pure. This queen has now been overthrown.